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Who Gets A Dad's Unconditional Love?

June 03, 2020

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Did you know that a husband can't truly love his wife unconditionally... well at first anyway? Here's why.

Bottom Line

The definition of unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. So it's unselfish love, basically. Now that we know the meaning, let's get into why you'll never have your husband's unconditional love ... at first.

So who gets his unconditional love first?

Because having unconditional love for someone else is an unselfish act where we want nothing from the person that we feel it for, that knocks a lot of people out of contention. You naturally think that the love a boy has for his mother, or the person that raises him, would be unconditional but it's not. It's a selfish love but rightfully so. When we're boys we rely on someone else to provide everything for us. So we grow to love them because they give us the things that we want and need while we're growing up.

Eventually boys become men and choose the woman that we want to marry. Hopefully she's our dream woman. The woman that we fantasize about being with. We want her to love us and bear our children. We choose her to grow old with us and spend the remaining years of our life with. And the fact that we chose you means, based on the definition, that you will never have our unconditional love.

We choose what we want, right? The fact that we chose you means that we want something from you. Granted, everything that we want from you are good things, that doesn't not change the fact that it's a selfish act at its core. Why? This is because a man chooses his wife when he decides that he doesn't want to share her or want her to be with anyone else. That's the truth of the matter.

So who will have a man's unconditional love first? Who will be the first to experience the unconditional love of a man? Wait for it... his children. Why? Because this is the first time that his love comes without selfishness or choosing, usually. We can choose to have children but we cannot choose who or how they'll be. This is usually our first experience where someone relies on us totally for absolutely everything that they need to survive. Children don't ask to be here but demand everything from you. If our children never give us anything at all, we'll still love them unconditionally.

To read a woman's perspective on this topic continue reading here.

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